fbpx

I sometimes look back over the past couple of decades and feel like I’ve lived so many different lives.

I’ve been the fashionista with a wardrobe full of the ‘in season’ clothes. The party girl who spent many nights of the week out until 4am and then just lay on the beach for the day to recover. The Corporate high-flyer, traveller, minimalist, anxiety ridden victim, to mum and I now also call myself a Life Coach and Self-Worth Mentor. I’m at a place in life now, where I can truly just live as me without the need to give myself a title or label.

I spent most of the past decade in a Corporate career. I worked in inner city Sydney, the grey world of commutes, suits and lots of self-imposed importance. It’s funny when I mention it to new people I meet both online and in real life now, I often see and hear the surprise. I’m a Chartered Accountant, I’ve worked for one of the countries biggest insurance companies as well as one of the Big 4 accounting firms as a management consultant. I’ve travelled business class for work, gone on week long ‘retreats’ (which is could also be explained as going away for a bit of training and a lot of drinking) and believed that all of these things somehow made me important.

The first couple of years in my corporate career, I thought that moving up the ladder, the pay rises and promotions along with the things I’d buy would bring happiness. I didn’t realise it at the time but I was in a cycle of looking to things outside of me to validate me.

Just like the earlier years with the nights spent partying, looking for happiness at the end of a glass, or (as hard as it is to admit) the constant stream of men revolving through my life and wanting to have the latest clothes. I kept looking ‘out there’ to things to fill the hole, build me up and show me my worth.

I began to awaken

I started to realise that none of the things were actually bringing that happiness, that sense of worth that I was looking for. No number of drinks, men, clothes, promotions or any other things were helping me feel like I was enough in my life.

I stumbled onto the concept of minimalism. This is an idea of pairing life down, simplifying and stripping away possessions and commitments. I kept hearing that things won’t bring you happiness, so I shed so many things, #allthethings really. Most of my clothes and possessions til all I had left were those used on a weekly basis. I left Sydney, moved to Adelaide for a quieter life. I thought that must be it. That would be enough, if things won’t bring me happiness, I’ll remove the things and then I’ll be happy right?

While I was in the right direction, I kept skimming over the need to look inside, really look at who I was as a person, all the reasons I was already enough, why I was worthy of anything I wanted in life. Minimalism didn’t teach me that, I got sucked back into another way of missing the real work I needed to do, again, looking outside and trying to prove something with my lifestyle and they way I lived.

In more recent years I’ve come somewhere in between, I know things won’t bring happiness but I like a certain number of luxuries in my life. I’m not interested in fashion but I do like having a handful of quality clothes that make me feel good. I’m finally less interested in impressing other people and more interested in being satisfied within myself.

One of the biggest questions I’ve sat with, to get me to this space is, “Who am I really?” If I remove the common labels we give ourselves, remove the focus on things, stuff, external achievement, then who am I?

Sitting with this is what finally allowed me to cultivate the feelings, the validation I was seeking ‘out there’ from within. It’s also a question most of my clients work through early on in our time together. The aim is to shift the focus from their head, from what they think others think (or might think) of them, what they have or how they label themselves, to who they deeply truly are. It’s such a powerful step on the journey back to self, to knowing more about yourself, to accepting yourself and being able to cultivate joy, peace, fulfilment, success and happiness from within.

If you’re often feeling a little crazy, up in your head and the need to prove your worth through your doing and things, I really invite you to sit with this question. Grab a notebook, some time without distraction and ask yourself. If I remove the labels I often give myself such as employee, mum, wife, girlfriend, friend – then who am I?

It’s a real eye opener in your journey to inner peace, fulfilment and confidence to truly be you.

Do you want to go on your own journey of self discovery? Let’s chat about working together to empower you to become the woman you’ve always wanted to be. Click here to send an enquiry.