For many years in my life I found myself waiting. As I worked away in a Corporte job that I didn’t like, trying to put away as much money as I could every week, I was constantly dreaming of ‘one day’.
- One day I’ll quit this job.
- Maybe some day I’ll get to know the real me.
- I’m sure one day I’ll have purpose to my life.
- One day I’ll stop fantasising about the future and start living in the now.
Forever dreaming about one day; living in dream land up in my head, completely numbing out to the days and the life that was all around me. The truth is, I was always imagining one day, because I wasn’t all that happy with the life that I was in then.
- I didn’t know who I was.
- I was full of anxiety.
- I was constantly doing things I didn’t really want to do. Saying yes to people and things that I thought I ‘should’ do or to keep the peace.
- I was stuck in a commute and a job that felt grey, soul sucking.
- I didn’t really like who I was.
- My sense of worth was non-existence and I didn’t realise it was up to me to determine.
- At the time, I didn’t know how to be anything else.
So with all that, it made sense to be forever thinking about ‘one day’. It did however, start to feel like a problem in my life. I was wishing away the days and weeks, counting down to Friday every week to spend the weekend numbing out, drinking and sleeping and counting down the weeks of every year until I could get a longer ‘break’.
I was stuck in a cycle and the hardest part looking back was I wasn’t deciding to change things. I accepted this as the norm, as reality, as the way it was. Everyone around me was doing the same thing and were all varying levels of sad zombies. I figured, “this must just be how life is”. I didn’t know that I could work to change things. I didn’t realise I could go to work on me and find more happiness in the day to day. I continued on for years in the haze of ‘real world’ living.
When I was 25 a friend passed away. After a two year fight, at just 24 years of age, she passed away from ovarian cancer. That was a jolt to my system. I realised, to some extent, that life was a lottery. There were no guarantees and honestly, one day just might never come.
Imagine hating the days your living, forever thinking of finally living your dream life and becoming who you’ve always wanted to be one day, only for that day to never come? It’s a truth that we often don’t want to look at but imagine putting off living so much, that we never get to. That is terrifying to think of.
If you look deep inside of you, you’ll know there are things you’re putting off for one day. Get honest, is it just fear stopping you right now?
- Fear of what others might think
- Fear that you’re not good enough
- Fear that you’re not worthy
- Fear that you won’t be able to make it happen
- Fear that you’ll make others jealous
- Fear that you might get something you really want and then lose it?
Are these fears strong enough to stop you, or are you ready to learn to live with them, to work beside them and to become you, right here, right now? The day I was able to stop, was the day I took full responsibility for everything in my life. I created it. I was the only common thing in everything in my life and I decided. I made that decision, that it was my responsibility to change it, nobody else. I decided I was going to make my everyday someday, and then I got to work on creating it. It can be as simple as that, deciding you want different.
Beautiful, I’m asking you, what are you waiting for? Are you ready to make the decision?