Do you have goals, dreams, things you want to create, achieve and have? You’re human. Of course you do. Have you ever wondered why perhaps they keep eluding you? You can’t seem to get what you want, while others are able to manifest their desires alongside of you? It may very well be that you’re getting in your own way. Huh? Getting in your own way…. What do you mean?
You see, our brains, our minds are really complex. There is a conscious part of your mind (often said to control less than 10% of your thoughts, behaviours, feelings and actions) and there’s the subconscious mind. If both are not aligned, that is, going after the same thing, you may be unconsciously getting in your way. This is commonly referred to as self sabotage.
Say what? Let me give you an example. You may be working really hard to bring a dream to life. Let’s imagine it’s a promotion at work. In your conscious mind, you’re saying, “I can do that”, “I should be moving up the career ladder”, “I’m just as good at my job as Sarah who’s already got the promotion”. Then, deeper down, in your subconscious, you have deeper thoughts and beliefs (that can be hard to witness when you’re not paying close attention) that aren’t in alignment. As an example, the subconscious may be thinking, “You’re not good enough for that role”, “When you move up the ladder you have to run yourself into the ground and you don’t want that”, “You’re not good with money”, “Chasing money is bad”, “You should be happy with what you have”, “You’re not worthy of what you want.”. Does this sound familiar? Have you ever noticed a thought pattern like this where there’s a seemingly back and forth about whether you are or aren’t good enough, smart enough, (anything enough!) or worthy for your dreams.
So you may have noticed this happen before. This subconscious mind, that is not in alignment with what you’re going after, begins to try and protect you. You see, it’s programmed to help you survive (from back in the day when we faced life and death daily in the wild) and so, if it sees you going after something that deep down your scared of, or not believing is possible, it’s going to protect you, by not truly letting you go after it.
It’s sneaky too. It might tell you that now’s not the right time to go for the promotion or that your too busy to create your dream or why bother, your just going to fail anyway, and so you stop. You don’t go after what it is you truly want or other times, you do go after it but you don’t give it your all, something comes up, you lose focus, don’t prepare any number of things. What they all have in common is that they effectively stop you from getting (and going after) what you want.
The great thing about our subconscious mind, is we can reprogram it. For years I held really deep beliefs about my dreams not being possible for me because I wasn’t enough, wasn’t worthy. When I finally connected all the dots and saw that these beliefs were sabotaging the goals I was working towards, I got to work on them. 100% you can change it.
The first step to any change though, is becoming self aware. Can you notice any patterns of self sabotage in your life?
Self Sabotaging Behaviours
Common behaviours that could be self sabotage include:
- Procrastination
- Self Doubt
- Perfectionism
- Excuse making
- Avoidance and distraction
- Controlling patterns
Does this resonate for you? Do you think you could be getting in your own way? Good news, now that you’re aware you can get to work on re-aligning the conscious and subconscious mind so you can STOP getting in your own way.
Want to discuss your behaviours of self-sabotage and how you can take the next step towards your goal, get in touch and let’s chat more about working together achieving your dreams.