What is the most important relationship in your life? If I were to ask you this right now, what would you say? Is it your partner, your parents, maybe your children or your closest friends? In the last few years, I’ve come to realise that the most important relationship I will have in my life, is with myself.

I’m the person I hear chattering away at me the most, I’m the most likely person to be in my life, for my entire life. From cradle to grave, the only person who’s likely to make that entire journey with me, is me. Some people weren’t around at the beginning, the middle or the end, but I’ll be there every step of the way.

Have you ever thought about the relationship you have with yourself? Maybe. If you’re like most people, probably not. If I were to ask you how you would describe your relationship with yourself, what would you say? Don’t know. Never thought about it. I don’t know who I really am. I’m scared to find out the real me. I’m not sure I even like me. This is what many of us think, not because these are true, but because we’ve never actually spent time thinking about, getting to know or nurture our relationship with ourself.

I used to have a pretty non-existent relationship with myself. I had many modes of distraction such as partying, drinking, working, studying. I avoided actually being alone with myself because I was scared. I often thought of myself as a shell of a person, I had an exterior but I had know idea what was within.

The thing I’ve truly realised is, that it’s hard to become the best version of yourself, build a strong belief in yourself, set the standard for your worth and create your dream life, if you haven’t cultivated a (and eventually a kinder, more loving) relationship with yourself.

Why we need a loving relationship with ourselves


  • We’re not going to thrive if our inner dialogue is always cutting us down
  • It’s going to be difficult to become the most confident version of yourself if you don’t know who you really are, what your strengths are and how to be the real you
  • If we want to call in loving friendships and partnerships we need to learn to be the source of our own love first
  • Your dream life can only be created by the real you.

I found for myself my ultimate goal was to create a life that was in complete alignment with who I was. To do this, I had to get really honest about who I was. I had to go on the inner journey of rediscovering the deeper me, the truth of who I was. I’d always fallen into the trap of buying into other people’s dreams, other people’s version of success, other people’s lives. To create the life I really wanted I had to get really clear on what I really wanted. The way to that was getting to know myself better, which let’s be honest, is what a relationship really is.

Then I realised it was hard to create that life for myself if I didn’t say kinder things to myself and believe that my dreams were possible for me. To chase down some big goals, I had to support myself to thrive. The only way to do this again, was to cultivate a more loving relationship with myself. The more I focused on rediscovering myself, healing old wounds, treating myself like I would my best friend, nurturing and nourishing myself like I would my children and loving on myself like I do my partner…. The more things started falling into place for me.

This journey inwards these past few years has truly taught me that the most important relationship I’ll ever have is with myself. I’m confident in saying that if you want to become the best version of you and create your dream life, it’s going to be the most important relationship you’ll have in your life too.

Are you ready to rediscover who you are, cultivate inner peace, a sense of confidence, calm and a loving relationship with yourself? Get in touch here, and let’s chat about working together.